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Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
Sunday, February 26, 2012
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Tuesday, November 23, 2010
O'Reilly Strikes Back At The Simpsons For Fox News Jab (VIDEO)
First of all, I love the fact that Bill O'Reilly implies that Fox should manipulate and control the creative output of the shows broadcasting in its entertainment division so that they don't clash or interfere with the public image of its news/entertainment channel. I guess the idea of controlling the message by suppressing alternative views seems like a no-brainer to Bill.
But, more importantly, I am totally smitten with Bill's refusal to take any negative criticism from a cartoon. Speaking out against critics and detractors is one thing, and defending yourself against comedians and satirists is another, but complaining about a joke in a cartoon takes it all to an entirely new level of whining narcissism that is almost (almost) funner than the actually Simpsons clip shown.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Santa Clause Does Not Equal Economic Recovery
Wow! So inventories and sales didn't drop as much as we expected! And China is exporting more toxic lead-painted toys then anticipated to our crowded bargain-basement department stores! On top of that, people are apparently buying more flat screen televisions and iPods during the biggest consumer shopping season of the year, ignoring crushing debts and skyrocketing food and utility costs in a desperate attempt to enjoy the holiday season. The economy MUST be doing better!
What is wrong with us? There is something seriously wrong with us; as a country, as a people, as a whole.
Home foreclosures continue to climb, reaching record-breaking numbers one year after another. Many (if not most of these) are do due bankrupting medical bills piling up and destroying families and homes, most of which ironically are medically insured. There are millions of people without medical insurance to deny their coverage for them. The number of children going hungry in what used to be the greatest industrial nation on Earth is growing at an alarming rate. And throughout all of this, our government continues to spin its wheels blindly, either unwilling or unable to pass any meaningful legislation to solve, curb, or even address these problem.
But forget all of that. Target's "$5 Appliance Sale" was a smashing success! Things must be getting better! Snuggies for everyone!
There is something seriously, horrendously, tragically wrong with us.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
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Friday, March 6, 2009
Saw VI: Lemony Freshness in an Open Wound
I don't watch much television these days, mostly because I don't nee the aggravation. But in the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a series of Pledge commercials that feature housewives being locked in a glass cube with dusty furniture.
The more I see these commercials, the more I can see this glass box showing up as a torture test in the next SAW sequel. One scene particular keeps popping into my head:
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
The warehouse is full of old boxes, discarded machine shop equipment, and random piles of trash. A large glass box sits inside the center of the space. Inside the glass box is a mock setup of a household kitchen, including a breakfast nook, an over sized refrigerator, and a counter-mounted television . The counters, cabinets, and appliances are all coated in filth.
A Young Woman sits unconscious on a kitchen chair inside the glass box. She is dressed in casual clothing, and looks as if she has recently been in a scuffle. A large metal collar is around her neck. A long metal cord attaches the collar to the television.
The Young Woman wakes up. Confused and panicking, she whips her head around. The cord pulls a pin out of the television. The television turns on. Jigsaw's tricycle riding puppet appears on the screen.
Hello, Emily. I want to play a game with you.
The Young Woman, Emily, paces around the mock kitchen, examining the glass walls for openings and looking in random cabinets.
You have been an untidy person your entire life.
Messy, sloppy, and unkempt, you have stumbled
through life allowing others to clean up after you.
You have voluntarily spent your life living in filth,
condemning your few friends and loved ones to
suffer through the mobile rubbish bin you call your
life.
It is now your turn to clean up after others, Emily.
Now is your chance to prove that you are worthy
of the life you have so carelessly filled with clutter
and refuse.
Emily opens a cabinet over the television. In it are a can of Pledge, a roll of paper towels, and a time clock. The time clock turns on and starts counting down from twenty minutes.
This kitchen was once a notorious bachelor
pad, a house in which twelve men lived as you have,
never cleaning, never tidying, never picking up after
themselves. The house was eventually abandoned
with six months of back rent owed.
You have twenty minutes to clean every surface of
this kitchen until it is completely free of all dust, dirt,
grime, mildew, mold, and allergens. If the kitchen has
not been cleaned to showroom quality by the time the
clock runs out, your glass cage will become your tomb.
The walls will compress down to a one foot cube,
which will be picked up by a rubbish collection agency
tomorrow morning.
Emily grabs the paper towels and Pledge. She looks at them. She looks around the room. She looks back at the can of Pledge.
The television turns off. Emily Screams.
The big twist ending could be that, since Jigsaw is dead, these new attacks have been perpetrated by his latest accomplices, the two British cleaning women from How Clean is Your House?
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The more I see these commercials, the more I can see this glass box showing up as a torture test in the next SAW sequel. One scene particular keeps popping into my head:
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - NIGHTThe warehouse is full of old boxes, discarded machine shop equipment, and random piles of trash. A large glass box sits inside the center of the space. Inside the glass box is a mock setup of a household kitchen, including a breakfast nook, an over sized refrigerator, and a counter-mounted television . The counters, cabinets, and appliances are all coated in filth.
A Young Woman sits unconscious on a kitchen chair inside the glass box. She is dressed in casual clothing, and looks as if she has recently been in a scuffle. A large metal collar is around her neck. A long metal cord attaches the collar to the television.
The Young Woman wakes up. Confused and panicking, she whips her head around. The cord pulls a pin out of the television. The television turns on. Jigsaw's tricycle riding puppet appears on the screen.
Hello, Emily. I want to play a game with you.
The Young Woman, Emily, paces around the mock kitchen, examining the glass walls for openings and looking in random cabinets.
You have been an untidy person your entire life.
Messy, sloppy, and unkempt, you have stumbled
through life allowing others to clean up after you.
You have voluntarily spent your life living in filth,
condemning your few friends and loved ones to
suffer through the mobile rubbish bin you call your
life.
It is now your turn to clean up after others, Emily.
Now is your chance to prove that you are worthy
of the life you have so carelessly filled with clutter
and refuse.
Emily opens a cabinet over the television. In it are a can of Pledge, a roll of paper towels, and a time clock. The time clock turns on and starts counting down from twenty minutes.
This kitchen was once a notorious bachelor
pad, a house in which twelve men lived as you have,
never cleaning, never tidying, never picking up after
themselves. The house was eventually abandoned
with six months of back rent owed.
You have twenty minutes to clean every surface of
this kitchen until it is completely free of all dust, dirt,
grime, mildew, mold, and allergens. If the kitchen has
not been cleaned to showroom quality by the time the
clock runs out, your glass cage will become your tomb.
The walls will compress down to a one foot cube,
which will be picked up by a rubbish collection agency
tomorrow morning.
Emily grabs the paper towels and Pledge. She looks at them. She looks around the room. She looks back at the can of Pledge.
The television turns off. Emily Screams.
The big twist ending could be that, since Jigsaw is dead, these new attacks have been perpetrated by his latest accomplices, the two British cleaning women from How Clean is Your House?
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Book Review: .357 Vigilante #2 - Make Them Pay, by Ian Ludlow
Make Them Pay is the first book in the series I've read in the .357 Vigilante series, and I am now eagerly searching out the others, as this book definitely falls in the category of So Bad It's Good.This short-lived series was apparently ghost written by Lee Goldberg and Lewis Perdue under the series pen name of Ian Ludlow. After lengthy consideration, I have come to the conclusion that this series was written completely tongue-in-cheek, and was meant to be a mockery of Vigilante Men's Action Series such as The Executioner and The Destroyer, with an obvious nod to the Death Wish/Dirty Harry influences as well. I base this theory on the fact that a) Both authors still make a living writing and would therefore hopefully have a better grasp of good and bad concepts, and b) There is no way that it should have taken two people to write this slim series of nonsensical scenes.
There is simply too much corniness to fully cover. Brett Macklin, our heroic vigilante, is a professional pilot with his own air charter company. His father was apparently killed in the first novel by some street hooligans, and since he wiped them out he's been itching to get back into the vengeance business. He's given the opportunity right away when he investigates a supposed child pornographer for the Chief of Police that condones vigilante justice, and in the process botches a tail bad enough to be identified. The next morning his beautiful nurse girlfriend, after a night of smothering each other's naked bodies with ice cream and screwing on the kitchen counter, is blown up in a car bomb meant for him.
But even with a newly dead loved one to seek vengeance over, Brett is still weary of becoming Judge, Jury, and Executioner. Two out of three isn't bad though, and he settles for having an outside party oversee his Vigilante Prosecution, the position of .357 Judge filled by a bitter ex-judge who now acts as the TV Host/Arbiter on a bizarre show that is a cross between People's Court and Let's Make a Deal. Having trivialized the concept of due process beyond comprehension, our favorite vigilante is now free to seek justice/vengeance without guilt or plot complication.
Even so, Macklin still manages to find time between getting his girlfriend killed and killing the bad guys to endanger the lives of other friends and loved ones, bed a hot reporter who is convinced that he is Mr. Jury (the press is apparently better at naming action novel series than the publishers themselves), and dispatch the numerous perpetrators of other crimes that happen to occur in his path.
The punchlines delivered by Mr. Jury whenever he exacts justice on a criminal are so over-the-top ludicrous, they are my ultimate proof that the entire series is a joke. Example: he notices an armed robbery taking progress in a convenience store, quickly grabs a steel level from the construction site next door, and just before caving in the criminal's skull delivers the line "You're unbalanced, buddy." I'm sorry, there is no way you can write that line without total contempt for the intended audience. And they get worse, trust me.
There is a moment near the end of the novel, as the evil child pornography producers are dragging our trussed up hero onto a mock dungeon set, when Brett Macklin looks around at the fake stone walls and mediocre reproduction of a torture rack and mutters "You have got to be kidding me." Brett, its like you read my mind.
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