Friday, June 12, 2009

One Bimbo Down, One to Go: From Prejean to Palin

Miss California has finally gotten the boot for not living up to her contractual obligations, and

Jon Stewart + Sarah Palin on TVImage by danagraves via Flickr

quite possibly for not being smart enough to know exactly how far you can push something until it blows up in your face. Granted, we definitely haven't sen the last of her. On top of whatever talk or game shows she exploits herself over the next year, you can be sure that the anti-gay marriage organizations will be holding her up as a martyr for the cause, claiming that she was fired because of her religious and moral beliefs, and not for being stupid.

That's one over-sensationalized airhead out of the way. But we still have another one taking up airtime, and I have a feeling that she won't be receiving a pink slip anytime soon.

There have been a lot of celebrity ego battles taking place in the past six months or so. Most of them have been political in nature, and all of them have been highly entertaining. Rush Limbaugh alone has supplied half of the ego conflicts, as he has forced one Republican politician after another to apologize for implying that he might be wrong or out of line. Then you have Jon Stewart, who has drawn heat from television news media personalities by criticizing their performances. The conflict there usually involves them bad mouthing Stewart on their shows, followed by Stewart promptly handing them their asses on his.

The latest one, of course, is the little brouhaha between David Letterman and Sarah Palin over some admittedly off-color jokes about her older daughter, Bristol.

You remember Bristol Palin, right? The one that managed to get knocked up in an Abstinence-Only household, outed by her own mother's campaign managers, then paraded around by Palin during the presidential primaries as some sort of testament to teenage morality because she didn't get an abortion? The one that appeared on the today show to preach abstinence with her newborn daughter in tow? Yeah, we all remember Bristol.

DAYTON, OHIO - AUGUST 29:  (FILE PHOTO) <span class=Bristo..." style="border: medium none ; display: block;" width="150" height="107">Image by Getty Images via Daylife

As we all know, the Palin's didn't take too kindly to the jokes, and released statements saying as much. But they also accused Letterman of making the jokes about their fourteen year-old daughter, and not Bristol.

Now, my immediate reaction is to claim that Palin knew very well that the jokes were about Bristol, and that she merely took advantage of Letterman's omission of her name in the jokes to make up this whole kiddie-rape-isn't-funny argument. Of course she knew the jokes were about Palin. Anyone with half a brain and a sense of humor knew he was talking about Bristol.

But then again, whether Palin has half a brain is debatable. Remember, this is the same woman who couldn't name one newspaper or magazine she reads when asked. The one who said she knows about foreign policy because she can see Russia from Alaska. The one who gave a TV interview about animal compassion while a turkey was killed right behind her. The one who didn't realize that saying she 'chose' not to have an abortion actually implied a belief in the pro-choice movement's arguments. The one who... I could go on, but you get the idea. Sarah Palin, for the most part, is about as smart as a box full of retarded mice. And that's giving her the benefit of the doubt.

With this in mind, we really can't assume that Palin was smart enough to realize that Letterman's jokes about her daughter getting knocked up were a reference to her older daughter, who was actually knocked up. There really isn't enough evidence to convince me that she isn't that dense. And I really doubt her snowmobiling hubby is the thinker in the family, so the idea of him explaining the joke to her is out of the equation.

So Letterman addresses the issue on his show. He admits that the jokes were in poor taste, but clearly explains for the dimmer viewers in his audience (like Palin) that the jokes were about Bristol, and that he would never make sex jokes about a fourteen-year-old girl. Granted, he read the jokes again, and refused to apologize for the 'Slutty Air Hostess' crack. But that's why Letterman is still around. He knows what to apologize for, and when not to back down.

With that taken care of, what are the odds that Palin is smart enough to take the apology and bow out while she is ahead?

Are you kidding me? The same Palin that reacted to the magazine debacle by blaming 'gotcha journalism', responded to the 'I can see Russia from my House' debacle by reiterating that it was true, that explained the Turkey fiasco by insisting that no one knew turkeys were being slaughtered behind her, and complained about media coverage of her knocked-up daughter while parading her around on the campaign tour?

So, instead of taking the smart way out, Palin and Todd (why the hell is Todd Palin giving out any kind of press releases? Who cares what this jackass thinks?) refuse Letterman's apology, turn down his invitation to come on his show, and then imply that he is a pedophile by stating that they don't want to let young Willow Palin near him.

Sarah <span class=Palin on Alaska HDTV" style="border: medium none ; display: block;" width="240" height="160">Image by via Flickr

You think that was a stupid move?

This morning, Palin makes an appearance on the Today Show. In the same interview, she tells Matt Lauer that he is "extremely naive" if he accepted Letterman's explanation of the joke, then defends her statement about keeping Willow away from Letterman by saying "You can interpret that however you want to interpret it." Of course, because Lauer would have to be extremely naive to think that she was implying that Letterman was a baby-raper.

Its funny, but all of Prejean's senseless babbling over the past month still makes more sense than Palin's idiotic attempts at being clever and astute. She then put the cherry on top of the Moron Sundae by replying to Lauer's question about whether she is the future of the GOP with the convoluted phrase "Absolutely not necessarily." Then, after showing herself to be as vapid and mindless as Miss California, she goes on to say that she wants to "be able to help the cause" of the Republican Party.

Man, and I thought Michael Steele was stupid.
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